


Shades of Grey

by draca (wyvernwolf)



Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-14
Updated: 2010-07-14
Packaged: 2017-10-10 13:32:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/100315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyvernwolf/pseuds/draca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em> It had taken months and he'd run Sam ragged playing undercover agent for both sides but things had fallen into place, and in the end Morgan had nothing to hold against Gene...</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Shades of Grey

  
It was sunny. A surprising change since rainy days usually outnumbered the sunny ones in Gene's understanding of all things Manchester.

The clouds that had brought the rain the night before were gone, banished with the rising sun. The grass shimmered as a light breeze shook the rain droplets still clinging to their blades and the ground was spongy soft beneath his shoes. Butterflies and bees danced through the few flowers still upright after the deluge from the night before, and he could hear the low buzz they made as they flickered busily with their work.

His loafers and the ends of his trousers were damp from the rain and morning dew and whilst the sun was shining, there was still a biting chill in the air that made him pull his coat tighter around himself.

Gene loved mornings like this and took the opportunity to enjoy the peace even as he walked through the cemetery, eyes searching for the familiar leather clad figure of his deputy.

Seeing his target exactly where he'd expected, he made his way over to the kneeling man and stopped a few steps away, watching silently as Sam fiddled around with something in front of the tombstone.

He couldn't stop the shudder that ran through him as he saw the name carved into the dull grey stone.

_Sam Tyler_

Even though the dates were wrong, it still made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

Uncomfortable with the feelings seeing that name in this place brought up, Gene looked away only to rest his gaze on the names gracing the two nearest graves.

_Vic Tyler_

Ruth Tyler

Swallowing hard, he focused his attention on Sam, waiting for some form of acknowledgement. He knew that Sam was aware of his presence. The stiffening of the shoulders beneath the leather jacket was indication enough of that. When a few minutes passed in silence, Gene cleared his throat roughly and taking a few steps forward, dropped a hand on Sam's shoulder, feeling the fragility of the bones beneath. It always surprised Gene how thin Sam was. He was always so forceful, so full of fight, that it never occurred to him that Sam was so much slighter than he appeared.

As soon as his hand made contact, Sam froze but he didn't look at Gene. He just stayed kneeling and waiting.

Gene sighed and dropped his hand. When Sam was like this, he knew that he'd have to be the one to start the conversation.

"Missed you at the pub last night, Tyler."

"Wasn't in the mood so I went home."

Sam still refused to look at him.

The silence surrounding them was complete now, only occasionally broken by the whisper of leaves rustling in the breeze. The peace he'd felt before was gone now and Gene was feeling twitchy. There was an itch just beneath his skin, an itch named Sam Tyler, that he couldn't scratch and it was driving him crazy.

Lips pursed, he went through the familiar motions of getting a cigarette and lighting it up. As the first pull of nicotine hit his system, he relaxed and watched as Sam stared at the ground, eyes focused on something that Gene couldn't see, the trowel dangling forgotten in his dirty hand.

"Sam... what're you doing here?"

"Planting flowers," Sam replied, his tone of voice conveying how stupid he thought the question was as he waved a hand at the small pots arrayed neatly next to him.

Gene sucked in a deep breath. He would be patient and calm. He would not lose his temper. "I can see that but _why_ are you planting the bloody things?"

"Because I wanted to." A small shrug accompanied the words. "Because it's the right thing to do."

"T'isn't your responsibility, Sam. They're not your family."

"Aren't they?" The words were spoken to the ground and Gene can see Sam's hands twisting around the trowel, knuckles white from the force he's using.

"Sam..."

A deep sigh before Sam twisted and squinted up at him. The desolation in the brown eyes had Gene catching his breath. "They have no one else. Neither do I." Sam shrugged again. "And I don't have anything better to do anyway."

"Bloody hell, Tyler..."

"It's the least I can do, Gene".

The familiar obstinate look is on Sam's face and Gene knows very well that nothing he says will make Sam change his mind. Maybe before, but now, now things were different. _They_ were different.

The relationship between deputy and sheriff hadn't been the same since that day, nearly seven months ago, when Sam had come into Gene's office with a folder full of the notes and tapes he'd made. Notes and tapes he'd claimed contained detailed evidence painting Gene as a corrupt and incompetent police officer. Enough information to have him kicked out of the force.

It had been a punch to the gut when Sam had stood in front of him and in a stiff expressionless voice clinically laid out everything that he'd been doing. About MARS, being undercover and that rat bastard Morgan's involvement. He'd ended by showing Gene the graves of the Williams and Tyler families but had denied that he was Sam Williams, stating emphatically that he was Sam Tyler, always had been and always would be.

Gene's first instinct had been to tear into Sam, rip him apart and make sure the bastard would bear the scars of his betrayal forever but he'd managed to restrain himself and walked away, leaving Sam standing alone in the cemetery.

The next day he'd watched as Sam had walked into the office, jaw set and lifted at a challenging angle and his whole body poised ready for the beating that never came. Gene had had a lot of time to study his DI though and he could see the nerves vibrating beneath the show Sam was putting on. He could recognise bravado when he saw it. Sam expected Gene to hit him, beat him to a bloody pulp, welcomed it almost, but Gene wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. Oh, no. Sam bloody Tyler thought that Gene hitting him would fix things but Gene knew better. Things weren't ever that easy.

Gene had been on the verge of transferring Sam away but had stopped himself, remembering the old adage, keep your friends close but your enemies closer. And even though Sam wasn't an enemy, he'd confessed after all, the trust Gene had had in him had been broken. So Gene hadn't let Sam out of his sight and they'd worked together to bring down Morgan's plans. It had taken months and he'd run Sam ragged playing undercover agent for both sides but things had fallen into place, and in the end Morgan had nothing to hold against Gene. And no hold over Sam either. Gene had seen to that.

Slowly, the sting of the betrayal had faded until it was a faint echo that Gene grew proficient at ignoring. Things had fallen back into a semblance of normal that it was easy to pretend that the events with Morgan had never happened. But there was a distance there now. It had been gradual but Gene had noticed.

He'd noticed every time Sam turned down an invitation for a drink, every time Sam gave an excuse that he had other plans or turned away from him. And he'd felt the slow burning frustration burn brighter each time Sam flinched when Gene laid a hand on his shoulder.

He'd watched as Sam changed from being his know-it-all annoying little shit of a DI into a blank faced and remote stranger.

Gene didn't like admitting it, but he didn't know what to do. No matter how much he tried to deny it to himself, he missed the easy camaraderie they had had, the knowing that if he had too much to drink that he could depend on Sam to somehow get him home in one piece. There had been this sense of familiarity about Sam that had made it easy for Gene to tell him things that he'd never said to another living soul before.

They still worked well together. If anything, they worked even better as Tyler was almost scarily efficient and didn't waste half as much time as he used to moaning and whining against the supposed ineffectiveness of 1970s policing methods. Somehow though, they'd all got used to Sam's eccentric ways and the lack of them felt odd.

Cases were now dealt with in a methodical clinical manner that left Gene cold. He found that he missed the disagreements and Sam's whining complaints that had used to accompany their previous cases.

He missed how a simple argument could sometimes turn into a shoving match that ended with fists and words flying before the solution would hit them and have them charging out of the station with the rest of the team hot on their heels. He missed the days that would end with the both of them sitting companionably at their table in The Arms having a drink over another case successfully solved and another piece of shit scum banged up behind bars.

He missed _Sam_, his deputy, his DI, his best mate.

And it had been that final thought, unwelcome as it has been, that had led him here at an ungodly time on a Sunday morning. He'd already spent the past hour trying to track down his errant DI and this detour to the cemetery had been a hunch that had paid off. But now he didn't know what to do. He'd never been one for talking. That had always been more Tyler's area of expertise.

When he finally did start talking, what he ended up saying surprised the hell out of him.

"If you're that unhappy here you could ask for a transfer somewhere else. Not Hyde obviously since they'd probably want your guts for garters. Just... you don't have to stay here."

"I'm not unhappy. I don't know what gave you that idea."

Gene snorted. "If your face were any longer it'd be dragging on the bloody floor. Not unhappy." Gene snorted again. "And you're avoiding the subject again. If you want to leave, nothing's stopping you."

Sam gave him a sideways squinted look. "Are you saying you want me to go?"

"Don't be putting words in my mouth, Tyler. I said if _you_ want to leave. What I want has nothing to do with it."

"I would think it does, Gene. You're my DCI. Any transfer I put in would cross your desk first."

"So you'll be leaving then?" Gene said as he tried to ignore the heavy feeling in his gut.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Now who's putting words in who's mouth? I didn't say that. I was just pointing out that any transfer request would have to be approved by you, not to mention Rathbone. Anyway, I can't go. I have to stay."

"Christ, Sam. Are you deaf? I just said that you don't have to stay. No one would stop you if you wanted to leave."

Same gave Gene a frustrated look. "Just leave it, Gene. I have to stay."

"No," Gene said slowly as if speaking to a slow-witted idiot, "you don't."

"Yes, I do, Gene." The reply was given in much the same manner.

"Do you always have to argue with me, Tyler? You don't. No one's making you."

"You don't understand."

"Then make me understand, you annoying shit! Christ, Sam. Why do you always have to make things so hard!" Gene shouted.

That earned Gene a long look and his heart skipped a beat as he could see the gears turning in that busy mind of Sam's before he shut down and that hated blank look reappeared on his face.

"I can't explain it so you'd understand, Gene. It's complicated. Just, just know that I'm not going anywhere. 'S not like I have anywhere to go anyway," Sam muttered as he looked back to his stupid flowers and Gene ground his teeth when nothing else was forthcoming.

"Tyler..." he started but stopped when Sam surged up and whirled on him, face flushed and eyes flashing.

"Drop it, Gene! Please. You have no idea what I gave up, what I've lost, and you never will so just shut up."

"Then why don't you bloody tell me! You're the one always blathering on about talking things out but when it's time to you clam up tighter than a nun's thighs!"

"I can't," Sam bit out and made to walk away but Gene dropped his hands on Sam's shoulders and forcibly held him in place.

Frustration welled and he gave Sam a hard shake. "Why the hell not?"

Twisting, Sam pulled away. "I just can't, Gene."

"Is it that rubbish about the future you're always rabbiting on about?"

"What?" Sam's head jerked up and he stared at Gene with wild eyes. "You know? You can't know! How do you know?"

Gene shook his head and smirked. "You really don't think much of me do you, Tyler? You should know by now. I'm the Guv. I know everything."

"Annie told you." This was said in a flat voice.

"Of course she did. Unlike some people, Flash-Knickers knows to come to her Guv when there's trouble," Gene paused and took a long drink from his flask. "So, _there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy_?"

Sam couldn't stop the flash of surprise that crossed his face. "Hamlet, Guv? I'm impressed."

Gene rolled his eyes and when Sam didn't continue asked, "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Is it?"

"Is what it?"

Gene clenched his fists, reminding himself that if he pounded the little bastard's head into the ground he wouldn't get his answers. "Is it true?" He growled.

Sam stared at the graves for a long moment before he replied, "Yes."

"Yes?" Gene echoed. "Just yes? Nothing else you want to add?"

"No. If you spoke to Annie, then there's not much else I can add," Sam said as he dropped back to his knees and continued playing in the dirt around the tombstone, seemingly losing interest in the conversation.

"For someone who's always going on about communication building better understanding, you don't say much when you're asked to do you, Tyler?" Gene barked out as he fished out his cigarette pack again. Efficiently he knocked one out and lit it, taking a few drags as he contemplated his DI.

He didn't know what he believed but he knew that Sam believed it. Maybe Cartwright was right and there was more wrong with his DI than he knew. A hospital would be the best place for him, she'd said. They'd be able to help him with his delusions.

But Gene wondered if she was right. Other than the few times when he'd caught Sam talking to thin air and that memorable time when he went off at the radio or answering phones that weren't ringing, Tyler had been normal. Or as normal as a picky-pain-in-the-arse-fairy could be.

Gene had the suspicion too that if he put Sam in the hospital, that would be the last straw and they'd lose him. And it was that that had stopped him from calling the men in white coats to cart Sam away.

Life had been so much easier before Sam Tyler had shown up. Good and bad, black and white, right and wrong. Now there were shades of grey too.

Gene hated grey.

At his feet, Sam traced a dirty hand across the name etched into grey rock and Gene had to dig his nails into the palms to stop himself from dragging Sam away from this place.

Gene had so many questions; why had Sam done what he'd done, why had he stayed, why hadn't he trusted Gene; just plain why. But he hesitated to ask, not sure if he wanted to know the answers.

He opened his mouth to tell Sam he was leaving but the question "Do you regret it?" slipped out instead. It took a moment to register but when it did, he scowled at himself but the question had been asked and he knew it was the right thing to say. It was the same question on his mind every time he'd seen Sam gazing off into the distance, not really seeing anything. The look had made him wonder if Sam regretted his confession. Regretted not turning Gene in and returning home to his wonderful Hyde.

Slowly and with very obvious reluctance, Sam stood again, dropping the trowel in the dirt and brushing himself down. Taking a deep breath, he turned and looked at Gene, really looked. Brown eyes boring deep into, what to Gene felt like, Gene's very soul. Gene wanted to look away but he didn't. Instead he returned Sam's gaze steadily and prepared himself for the reply.

Sam blinked slowly, breaking the stare and said in lieu of a reply, "Do _you_ regret it?"

Gene wanted to lie but he couldn't bring himself to. This whole mess had started with lies.

"Sometimes. Would've been easier for everyone if you'd just transferred out."

A sad smile crossed Sam's face. "Yeah," he breathed and looked away.

There was a moment of silence as they both stood there and looked at the limp flowers planted in neat rows around the three graves.

Gene produced his flask and took a sip from it before holding it out to Sam who declined with a shake of his head.

"You haven't answered my question."

"Do I regret it?" A short laugh escaped Sam and Gene winced at the bitterness he could hear in it. Sam's head tilted as he considered the question. "Sometimes."

Gene nodded, accepting the simple answer. He contemplated his flask for a moment before decisively screwing the lid back on and stuffing it back into his coat pocket.

Taking a deep breath he turned to Sam and asked, "So, Tyler or Williams?"

"Tyler," the answer was stated firmly with no hesitation, Sam staring back at him with something like defiance in his eyes.

Gene just nodded and Sam visibly relaxed, a small smile creeping across his face.

"Good. Got in the habit of shouting Tyler when something goes wrong. Be too damned hard to change now."

Sam shot him a dirty look before he shook his head and let out a low laugh. Gene just grinned back at him and for a brief moment, they were in sync again and everything was back to normal.

The moment was over all too soon though and Gene felt a pang when that achingly familiar grin disappeared to be replaced by the blank face that Sam had taken to wearing.

Sam was the first to break eye contact. "What I did..." He trailed off, seemingly unable to continue with what he wanted to say.

Taking pity on the other man as he stood there looking lost, Gene said, "You were a berk for doing what that bastard asked you to do. And that's putting it mildly. But you came to your senses in time and came to me, like you should have in the bloody beginning, and we fixed the problem. So stop being a daft bugger and move on."

"But, Guv-" Gene held up a hand, cutting off whatever it was Sam was going to say. He moved forward until he was mere inches from Sam's face.

"No," he barked out. "It's done, Tyler. Finished, over, dead and buried. So stop moping about feeling sorry for yourself like a big girl's blouse and move the bloody hell on."

Sam bristled at the words but Gene refused to back down and held Sam's gaze as they stood toe to toe, surrounded by the graves of the small Tyler family. A wealth of words passed unsaid between them before Sam lowered his eyes and sighed, his shoulders rounding as he hunched over.

"I'm sorry, Gene." The words were soft but it was so quiet that Gene had no problem hearing them or the regret and anguish that literally dripped from them.

"So am I, Sammy-boy. So am I."

He cupped a hand around Sam's neck, the tickle of too short hair tickling his hand and felt a deep satisfaction when there was no corresponding flinch from the younger man. He let go and gave Sam a small shove that had him stumbling back, spluttering curses under his breath.

"You can make up for it by buying me a drink," Gene said then and was rewarded when Sam tilted his head up to look at him from beneath ridiculously long lashes and the corners of his mouth lifted in a small smile.

Silence settled between them again as they walked back to his car but this time there was less strain. Gene was well aware that things hadn't been completely settled between them. And knowing his DI and his tendency to over think things, they'd be having this conversation, or variations of it, many more times in the future. Things weren't perfect, but the beginnings of something resembling what they had before had been born. It was a start. And Gene was certain he could build from there.

"If you're lucky, Nelson'll have that blond bird working today. She has the nicest... " He cupped his hands in front of his chest suggestively and waggled his eyebrows. "Maybe if you asked nicely she'd let you cop a feel."

Sam's groan could be heard echoing around the cemetery.

Gene smiled as the expected lecture from his DI started. Yes, he was positive he could build on things from there.

-Fin-

 


End file.
